THIS IS RED SOLDIER REPRESENTING FOR THE KICK-ASS ARMY OF THE U.S.OF A! I FOUGHT IN THE GLORIOUS WORLD WAR II STRUGGLE!
....Well the war "techniquely" ended a few years before I got there but I STILL GAVE THEM MEN, WOMEN, CHILDREN, INFANTS, AND SONGBIRDS THE WHOOPING THEY DESERVED!
I AM ON THIS HERE "INTERWEBS" SITE BECAUSE IT IS FILLED WITH UNDISPLINED PANSIES! I AM HERE WITH MY BROTHERS IN ARMS , , , , , and .
INBETWEEN STOMPING OUT THINGS UNAMERICAN (like rugby, emotions, and hygine) I WILL BE HERE HANDING OUT BEATINGS TO THE MAGGOTS ON THIS SITE.
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OUCH! MY LIVELIHOOD!posted Apr 1st 2009, 8:49PM
Music: L WORD INTEROGATION TAPES TEE HEE
ON YOUR FEET MAGGOTS! ERRR I mean…man what's a typical greeting again? OH WAIT I KNOW!
EH-HEM!
HELLO...maggots
WELL YEAH I HAVEN'T BEEN SO ACTIVE AS OF LATE, AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO, WITH ANYTHING RELATING TO THIS OBVIOUSLY FORGED PHOTOGRAPH OF ME!
IN ANY CASE THE OTHER DAY I GOT A WARNING FROM THE MODS! COMPLAINING OF ~"EXCESSIVE PROFAINITY"~ I DIDN'T THINK I WAS THAT BAD! I MEAN MY OLD MAN, USED TO SWEAR 24/7! IN FACT I DON'T THINK I EVER HEARD HIM USE A WORD THAT WASN'T PROFANE!
...no wait, I THINK HE SAID BEER A COUPLE OF TIMES... BUT YEAH BESIDES THAT, HIS DIALOGS WOULD JUST BE FANCY STRINGS OF CUSS-WORDS.
IN ANY CASE, IN ACCORDANCE TO THESE CHARGES OF "EXCESSIVE PROFAINITY" I SUPPOSE THE MODS ARE RIGHT. THEY ARE MY SUPERIOR OFFICERS SO I THOUGHT I WOULD BEHAVE MYSELF! BUT THEN I READ THE SPECIFIC MODERATOR COMMENTARY. BELOW IS A COPY.
Additional Moderator Commentary: Whilst you are free to have fun in your comments on this site please, remember that your jokes may not be as well received by other users. The excessive uses of the word "maggot" have been found insulting by other users. Please comment more carefully in the future.
...I I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO MAGGOTS! MY PATTERN OF SPEECH IS JUST WORDS WITH MAGGOT STAPLED AT THE END OF MOST OF MY SENTENCES!
YOU KNOW, I HAVE BITCHED AT ATTEMPTED TO DISPLINED A FEW ARTISTS HERE. I WOULD THINK THEY WOULD HAVE MORE OF A PROBLEM THAT I HAVE CALLED THEM TALENTLESS SHIT-DRIBBLING CUNTS, THEN THE FACT THAT I OCCASSIONALY DROP A MAGGOT IN THERE!
I HAD NO IDEA THAT I WAS CAUSING SO MUCH MENTAL DISTRESS FROM MY USEAGE OF THE WORD MAGGOT! WHEN I DISPLINE YOUNG SOLDIERS I USUALLY KICK THEM TO THE GROUND, SYSTEMATICALLY DESTROY THEIR SELF-ESTEEM, AND SODOMIZE THEM! I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS HURTING THEM, AND THAT THE MOST DAMAGE I CAUSED WAS WHEN I USED THE WORD MAGGOT!
I HAD NO IDEA!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF!
YOU KNOW WHAT I CAN IMPROVE MYSELF! I CAN MAKE MYSELF A BETTER PISSED-OFF ARTIST! INSTEAD OF THE DERGOTORY HURT-FILLED TERM LIKE MAGGOT, I’LL JUST CHANGE IT TO FAGGOT! NO WAIT PEOPLE MIGHT GET OFFENED AT THAT! (MAYBE IF I LET KNOW MY SECRET LOVE OF FAGGOTS, IT WOULD HAVE A LESS HARSH BLOW? HMMM, WHEN I THINK OF FAGGOTS I OFTEN GO MmmmMmMMmMM, MAYBE? YES! I’LL COMBINE THAT NOISE AND THE TERM FAGGOT ITSELF! )
HEY SOLDIERS! MY NEW TERM FOR YOU ALL WILL NOW BE MAGGOTS! I AM SO SMRT!
MODS I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR THE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS I HAVE CAUSED SO MANY! FROM NOW ON, I WILL CHANGE MY VOCABULARY FROM CONSTANT USEAGE OF THE WORD MAGGOT, TO THE CONSTANT USEAE OF THE WORD MAGGOT! HOPEFULLY IT PLEASES MY SUPERIOR OFFICERS!
I APPRECIATE YOUR AFFECTION, BUT THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS EQUALITY MAGGOT! WE ALL KNOW A KIND AND BENEVOLENT GOD, DIED WHEN WAL-MART WAS INVENTED!
WE ALSO, ALL KNOW THAT THE BLU TEAM IS FULL OF WUSSY HIPPIE QUEERS! HOW COULD YOU LOVE A DIRTY HIPPIE, MORE THEN A PREFECT STACK OF MAN-FLESH LIKE MOI!?
ONTO faggotry NEWS, WELL IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE RED MEDIC WANGED HIS HEAD REAL GOOD, AND BELIEVES HE'S STILL IN GERMANY OR SOMETHING. OUR POOR HEAVY IS REAL DOWN ABOUT THAT. SNIPER AND ENGNIEER ARE IN CHARGE BECAUSE OF MEDIC'S GERMAN GIBBERISH SPEAKING. I'M 3RD IN COMMAND BUT STILL...I THOUGHT I HAD WHAT IT TAKES! MAYBE YOU NEED BRAINS OR SOMETHING TO BE A LEADER, WHATEVER TO THAT MAGGOT!
HOW HAVE THINGS FAIRED ON YOUR END, MAGGOT?
OH U~
That's the hard part for me, should I pick the very sexy curvy dashing Gentleman Blu Spy or the great American manly layered beef cake like you?
(Though, Blu Medic is very manly too, DAMMIT. I CAN'T CHOOSE)
Ah, I indeed have heard of that. I saw your Sniper ask the Blu Medic for help. He'll do anything to help a Medic, I know that sweet German.
3rd in command isn't so bad. You definitely need brains to be leader. That's why Engie and Sniper are 1st and 2nd, right?
Oh, me? Finally been able to play TF2 again and Spy, Sniper and I got Blu Medic to get his ass on here.
I love his hair, god dammit. (Pardon, he's just a lovely piece of German Chocolate Cake)
Ohohoho. Have you been drinking powerthirst lately?
But I like curvy guys. They happen to have really nice asses and they are so irresistible to grope!
And nazi sentiments. Wait- let me think about that for a bit.
I'M GLAD SOMEBODY RECOGNIZES, THAT I'M A OVERFLOWING FOUNTAIN OF TESTOSTERONE, WRAPPED IN SIACK, AND DRIZZLED WITH KICK-ASS! YOU ARE A TRUE INTELLECTUAL MAGGOT! FOR HAVING SUCH INSIGHT, YOU ARE CETAINLY WELCOMED TO COME TO ONE OF MY GUN SHOWS IF YOU'RE A LADY! (If you're a gent, just put on a blonde wig and show up. I'll never know the difference.)
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING CHEAP, MAGGOT! WHAT IF SOMEBODY BUYS YOU A BEER, YOU'RE NOT COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY SEDUCED RIGHT THERE AND THEN!? WHAT ARE YOU SOME KINDA QUEER-WOMAN-FACE! JUST CAUSE I CONSIDER AN EXCHANGE OF BASIC GREETINGS ENOUGH FOREPLAY FOR A MONTH, DOESN'T MEAN I A HO' OKAY!
WHAT DOES THE SCOUT NEED FLOWERS, CHOCOLATE, HAND-HOLDING, CONDOMS, AND COMPLIMENTS ABOUT HOW ~PURDY HIS HAIR AND ASS IS~
WHAT THE HELL EVER MAN, YOU WANT A REAL GOOD TIME BUY ME A BUDWEISER, AND TAKE ME TO PUBLIC REST-ROOM, OR ALLEYWAY, OR ABANONDED INDUSTRIAL WASTE FACTORY!
MAGGOT YOU SCARE ME BOUT AS MUCH AS THE SACK OF DEAD EX-WIVES I CUDDLE EVERY NIGHT...listening so softly, in the dark, to their lack of heart-beats so soothing, so...reassuring.....yessssssss....
I APPRECIATE THE SALUTE, BUT WHAT IS THIS, "OH YOU MAYBE ON THE RED TEAM BUT U OKAY" KINDA TALK!?
HAVE YOU SEEN THE BLUE TEAM!? IT'S TWO WHINEY HOMOS BITCHING ABOUT THEIR WHINEY HOMO LOVE FOR COCKS IN THEIR BUTTS! I DON'T KNOW IF YOU NOTICED BUT THE RED TEAM HERE IS MADE OUT KICKING YOUR ASS AND BANGING YOUR MOM! MAGGOT, IF YOU HAVE A BALL-SACK, YOU'LL ALIGN WITH THE RIGHTFUL TEAM!
I MERELY SALUTE YOU FOR BEING THE #1 CLASS IN EITHER TEAM, BUT IF WE WERE OUT ON THE BATTLEFIELD I'D KILL YOU AND PISS ON YOUR CORPSE WITHOUT BLINKING!
I HAVE KILLED RED'S LIKE YOU BY THE DUSSINS AND YOU WOULD JUST BE ANOTHER NUMBER ON MY WEAPON AND AN EXTRA KILL ON MY RECORD. I WOULD RATHER BE CAUGHT DEAD THEN RED YOU FLOWER PICKING SCOUT LOVING FAGET, ON THAT NOTE I HAVE NOTHING BUT THE DEEPEST RESPECT FOR OUR HOMO SPY AND MEDIC, THEY WOULD ASSRAPE THE LIKES OF YOU WITHOUT HESITATION! Belive me I've seen it done.
IF YOU WERE ANYTHING LIKE THE MAN YOU CONSTANTLY SAY YOU ARE YOU WOULD BE GETTING A HAIRCUT, YELLING, DIGEST RIBS AND DEFEND HILLS WITH THE BLU TEAM! THIS IS WHERE HILLS ARE REALLY DEFENDED. IF NOT YOU SHOULD BE CONSIDERD A PANTY WEARING SISSYFIED WOMAN WHO SHOULD GET OFF THE BATTLEFIELD AND BACK INTO THE KITCHEN!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT WITH THE "KILLED RED'S LIKE YOU BY THE DUSSINS". RED'S WHAT MAGGOT? THE ONLY THING OF OURS YOU COULD'VE KILLED WOULD BE OUR PET DOG, SCRUFFY! BUT SCRUFFY IS COMPLETELY UNHARMED, HE'S JUST BEEN SLEEPING FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS, AND SMELLING EXCEPTIONALLY MANLY! AND WHAT THE SHIT IS "DUSSINS"? DUSTING IS SOMETHING HOUSE-WIVES DO! MEN SPEND THEIR TIME PUNCHING HOLES IN THE WALLS, AND TAKING MASSIVE SHITS, ON THEIR NEIGHBOR'S LAWN.
YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH THE BLU HOMO SPY AND MEDIC? GOOD FOR YOU MAGGOT, ONLY A TEAM OF HOMO-GIRLS WOULD RECRUIT AN INTERNET LOSER SUCH AS YOURSELF SO THEY CAN TAKE TURNS PLAYING "WHO'S IN MY MOUTH." ASSRAPE ME MAGGOT!? WHAT A LOAD OF HORSESHIT! because you can't rape the willing
WOAH, WOAH, WOAH ASS-BAG! DID YOU JUST BLANENTLY RIP OFF MY LINE I POSTED IN THE TEAM FORTRESS 2 WEBSITE-BLOG-GIRLY-INTERNET-BOX? THE ONLY THING WORSE THEN A INTERNET DROOL-BUCKET WHO RIP-OFFS A REAL MAN'S LINES IS A NAZI....BUT YEAH YOU'RE #2 ON THE SHIT LIST BITCH-ASS! I'LL SEE YOU ON THE BATTLEFIELD DICK-HUGGER!
THANK YOU MAGGOT! I THINK THE PHOTOGRAPHER REALLY CAPTURED MY SADISTIC GRIN, MY RAPIST EYES, AND EXPRESSED A DERANGED HUNCHED OVER LOOK CONSISTENT WITH THE FEAR I INFLICT IN ALL THOSE AROUND ME! I THINK THE PHOTOGRAPHER CAPTURED MY TRUE ESSENSE!